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Innerbrat
Advancing the sum total of human knowledge and endeavour!
Friends Cut thing 
9th-Mar-2009 07:51 pm
El Jay

I usually announce here when I do one of those general sweeping cuts of my friendslist, partly to create a space where people can discuss that cut - though obviously people rarely do, but mostly as a open Dear John letter, that generally means 'It's not you, it's me'; 400 total blogs,.including journals communities and outside feeds is a lot, and I end up not being thorough with my reading because I end up skipping.

So journals with which I engage little are removed so I can keep up involvement with the journals I do read: and that's the key point and why this post is going to skirt dangerously close to passive aggressive snide bitching, as I do come out and say one thing that has this time, in the past, and consistently will get me to stop reading a journal or blog - and that's about comments.

Let's say, hypothetically, you say something I disagree with; anything from feminists don't know what they're talking about to flying dinosaurs were called pterosaurs. I see something like that, and I'm compelled - in some ways I feel I have a responsibility, to explanio why I disagree and correct those factual errors I can see. Hopefully then discussion results; I can better understand your viewpoint, you can compare with mine. It might not be pretty, but it will be useful.

If I don't feel welcome commenting on your blog like that, it's usually best for me not to read this.

This isn't about communities such as debunkingwhite, from which I genuinely benefit just by shutting up and listening, nor even about personal journals detailing experiences I can't realte to, only learn from. It's about a subsets in the virtual environment in which, if I post, I'll be personally attacked, or accused of making a personal attack. It's about knowing that any attempt to engage will be met with defensiveness and a refusal to engage. It's about discussions on one journal being followed up by posts on someone else's journal with commentary like "I wish people would stop saying [direct quote from the Brat], because it's just wrong". This is stressful to me, and when I see posts I want to talk about, knowing my attempts to talk about them will result in hostility, it causes anxiety.

This isn't me telling people what to post  about in their space, but I view my friends page not as a series of windows into people's virtual space, but as doors. And if I know I'm not welcome behind those particular doors, I'm not going to want constant reminders of this.

I said before, and I stand by it:

If I didn't respect you enough to call you out on your shit, I wouldn't be listening to it in the first place.

Unfortunately, that means occasionally making sure I don't have journals like that on my reading list.

NB: this is a very small number the journals  I cut at any one time, most of which are just gone for disparate interests. That's all. Also I apologise for sounding like a total bitch, I'm having a tough time in my personal life and all tact has gone. That indeed is all me.

Opinions 
9th-Mar-2009 08:09 pm (UTC)
*raises hand*

So what are flying dinosaurs called? I'm actually genuinely interested to know.

(Also, I watched the first ep of Being Human last night, on your recommendation. Cheers. That was good.)
(Deleted comment)
9th-Mar-2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
Dude, see, those are totally understandable concepts. And cool. And yet, I never learned that in school.

Man, public schooling is sad, sometimes.

(Also, thanks for taking the time to explain! Cheers.)
9th-Mar-2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
BIRDS.

- I wish I had the sparkly text preprogrammed into my insets.
(Deleted comment)
9th-Mar-2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
It was! I was impressed. My explanation would be far too technical.
9th-Mar-2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
Birds!

(Pterosaurs were not dinosaurs, they were a related group of archosaurs)
9th-Mar-2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
Awesome.

And I again reiterate, wtf went wrong with my schooling that they did not tell me this?
9th-Mar-2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
I never learned it at school! I picked it up from the Natural History Museum, and my own obsession - which is why the NHM rocks.

Also, I love that you love Being Human. It's SO GOOD.
9th-Mar-2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
It helped that I loved Sugar Rush so I instantly was attached to Lenora Crichlow. Plus, Russell Tovey has been so good in everything else I've seen.

Also, seriously, I like how grounded the first ep was. It was like 'bad things exist' but it wasn't, like 'omg there is a giant conspiracy covering up these bad bad things, and they will EAT YOU'.
9th-Mar-2009 08:12 pm (UTC)
Birds' ancestors were microraptors!!!1!

Sorry for making light, and please let us know if we can do anything practical to help.
9th-Mar-2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
*snugs* Sorry you're having a rough time of it. hun.
9th-Mar-2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
Do what you have to do; I can understand limited time...

9th-Mar-2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
If this is your way of telling me that you have no interest in reading my journal entry about how dinosaurs are actually monkeys in disguise (monkeys from space, no less) and I should know, cause I once walked past a bookstore selling a book that had a dinosaur on the cover ... well, message received.

Although, demonstrably, I am right about this.
9th-Mar-2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
9th-Mar-2009 10:20 pm (UTC)
*snugs you*
10th-Mar-2009 04:55 am (UTC)
Bwahha. Recipe for INSTANT PARANOIA. :D
10th-Mar-2009 05:55 am (UTC)
Feel free to call me on my shit anytime.
10th-Mar-2009 06:01 am (UTC)
Also: T-Rex is only so angry cause his arms aren't long enough to masturbate with
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
10th-Mar-2009 09:22 am (UTC)
I'm glad I made the cut. :)

I have to say I do that quite often - read something on someone's journal and then have a rant about it in my own. It's more because I don't want my ranting to get into their private space - it's something I am RAGED by and they don't deserve to get the full force of my rantage.
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