I have not removed discworld
from my friendslist. Neither have I posted the story about the wizards who observe the lilacs on Roundworld and start wearing them in the streets and Mr. Vimes going spare
I haven't written it
I don't particularly want to.
For those of you new since last year: I don't wear a lilac. I don't have a lilac icon, and I heartily mock those who do.
But I have better things to do, like the rabbithole - I mean, my thesis.
My therapist and I have been talking about 'being' and 'doing'- about how I have constructing a false dichotomy between 'doing' which is active, productive and high-functioning, and 'being', which is passive, low-maintenance and involves zoning out. One of the problems I have is to sink into 'being' when I think I should be 'doing'. Or to get so stressed out that I'm 'doing' that I get stressed and anxious.
Part of my homework for this week (two weeks actually, bank holiday and that) is to keep a diary of when I catch myself getting too involved in one state and pull myself out of it (if I can - and the purpose of being able to recognised it is to note that I can. So.
The first instance was Monday evening when I found myself playing Ur
and various flash games
when I had things to do, including Chris' blog (oh gods, I'm the worst action-taker ever) and Millicon organdisation. The organdisation itself got done when I noticed this and started 'doing' (well some of it; I still have a few posts to make to the back room, but check me out, I'm like Rabbit!
Yesterday twice - I caught myself 'being' with rabbithole stuff in the morning, and then 'doing' instead of listening to The Greek trying to have a conversation with me in the evening.
Today there have been a number of times when I've caught myself 'being' - refreshing rabbithole and LJ threads (notifications hate me today), almost doing a meme on LJ etc etc. But I have been quite good at swinging myself into 'doing' thesis work whenever I caught myself 'being'. (It's bloody hard
One day I would like to be paid for 'being'. This will not happen until I'm a professional novelist/blogger/other sort of writer. Woe.
This bank holiday weekend I will be with the InnerRents for the InnerDad's birthday. I should be online, though, if I can't persuade the InnerMom to help me with a Will costume.