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Rants I won't write 
11th-Jul-2007 12:08 pm
full of shit
I am light headed. If steely_glint has given me the Bad AIDS, Bing's going to be very upset at him. There may be transatlantic murder.

Anyway, I realise I announced my return from Hiatus and then didn't post, but I suck like that. Also, not a lot to say. Chicago next week!

Last night we went to see The Johnny Storm Show Rise of the Silver Surfer, supertitled "4", because clearly attaching the word "Fantastic" to that movie would get them in trouble with the trading standards commission.

It's really only truly awful if you have a science A-level. Or have ever talked to someone with a science A-Level. Or like to know what the hell is going on at any point. And I don't just mean it's a confusing plot. I mean they never tell you. I can't make up my mind whether this is better or worse than the usual Heroes-esque pretending the science makes sense.

Anyhoo, so yes. Apart from Johnny Storm, it's kind of crappy. Very crappy. And I can't bring myself to care enough to be offended by Susan Storm's prioritising her wedding over saving the world. No indeedy, Jessica Alba trying to pass as a blonde as not the most offensive thing on that screen.

And neither, surprisingly enough, was the Mail on Sunday advert, which never fails to make me incredibly angry every time I see it, and I can only be soothed by the assurance that I'm not the target audience, and therefore should just sit back and mock the chavs.

Nope. The most offensive thing I saw last night was a trailer for Evan Almighty, the sequel to that godawful Jim Carrey film of a very similar name, in which some guy is given God-like powers. But in this one, Steve Carell plays some guy appointed by God as the new Noah.

That's right. It's a wacky fun comedy about global genocide. I can't even begin. I don't think I want to. I  mean, here is the difference between me and other people: I can't find this shit funny. At all.

Bollocks to it, say I. I'm going to just pretend no one finds it funny, and be over here, playing with dinosaurs.
11th-Jul-2007 11:22 am (UTC)
I bet Bush is kicking himself for not coming up with that policy.
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