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No, I'm not cutting this. 
15th-Oct-2007 03:41 pm
I love how judgemental my nurse is. She's not bigoted or prejudiced or anything, but she's so sensible I want to keep her.

Last week when I did my initial appointment, there was all the initial questions like:

Which of these run in your family? Lots of things run in my family. Practically all those little boxes that you tick run in my family. Even twins, which the NHS sign in sheet seems to think is a disease.
Do you smoke? Nope
Have you ever smoked? Not unless you count less than five joints ever.
How often do you exercise Once a week. Intense aerobics.
How much do you drink *shifty* Uh... about ten a week? Five of which happens in one night.

That's when she looked at me in a look very similar to that the InnerMum would give me when I said "yes please, InnerDad, I would love another glass of whiskey. Mum and I have finished the wine already", or when she caught me playing Civ II when I should have been revising for my GCSEs. Then I got a lecture on how much damage I was doing to my kidneys.

"But I don't smoke," I tried to say plaintively, but she wasn't having any of it.

Anyway, I got the same judgemental look today at my smear test when she asked me what birth control I used, and I said 'none'. I don't! I'm allergic to rubber, oestrogen could give me a stroke and a history of depression means Depo was hell of earth. But she still gave me that maternal you have to use something look.

Eventually, as if it had just occurred to her it might not be the case, "Are you sexually active?"

"Not really," I said. "I'm gay and my partner lives in America."

Then I had to listen to how hard long distance relationships are (as if I didn't already know) while she prodded around my nethers. Which was nice.

Next time someone asks me what birth control I'm on, I'm telling them 'lesbianism.'
15th-Oct-2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
and a history of depression means Depo was hell of earth

Uh. *eyes appointment to get Depo*

*eyes dysthymic depression which is currently going untreated due to insurance issues*

... Maybe I just shouldn't go on that after all? I didn't know there was any connection.

(And I get the same thing, only backward. "Why do you want to go on birth control? You're in a committed relationship with a woman and you're both faithful. No concerns about pregnancy." "Because I have dysmenorrhea and it hurts, okay?")
15th-Oct-2007 02:49 pm (UTC)
Look into it first . A lot. Talk to your doctor.

Depo was worse for me coming off it. But then, I was also dealing with a horrible break up at the exact same time. I'm not saying don't use it, I'm saying it Did Not Work for me.
15th-Oct-2007 02:44 pm (UTC)
Next time someone asks me what birth control I'm on, I'm telling them 'lesbianism.'

I support this 100%.
15th-Oct-2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
I read a crunchy-granola-type herbal medicine book once, and it said lesbianism was "the best form of birth control".

Yeah, that's what does it. Not, like, actual attraction. Just the desire to save on condoms.
15th-Oct-2007 02:51 pm (UTC)
I know that's why I'm with a woman. Because I hit the age at which it becomes embarrassing to ask for condoms at the free clinic.
15th-Oct-2007 03:19 pm (UTC)
And there's less to swallow during oral sex!
15th-Oct-2007 03:21 pm (UTC)
*cracks up*

Always a consideration when choosing a partner.
15th-Oct-2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
One must be continoually aware of such things. *sage nod... um, for porn.*
15th-Oct-2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
Depends on the woman.
(Deleted comment)
15th-Oct-2007 07:59 pm (UTC)
Being the fragile little petal that I am, I have sensitive skin (shaving can still hurt) and yet eau d'orgasm has never caused me any problems. This leads me to believe that it must actually be beneficial to the skin - moisturising, rejuvenating and so forth - so I really don't see what he's got to complain about. He'll thank you in 15 years time. ;op
(Deleted comment)
15th-Oct-2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
So like fairy liquid for the whole body, only less... well... green.

That has to be marketable.
16th-Oct-2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
Please don't give her ideas like that, she's bad enough as it is.

@Debi: I'm still chuckling. OTOH, isn't it nice to live in a civilised country where you get withering glances for not taking precautions, rather than being told how evil it is to be even considering it?
15th-Oct-2007 06:54 pm (UTC)

Better-tasting, usually, though.
15th-Oct-2007 02:57 pm (UTC)
Next time someone asks me what birth control I'm on, I'm telling them 'lesbianism.'

Hahaha, that's awesome!

I hate going for the annual but do so because my fear of dying from something detectable is much much higher than my fear of "letting strangers in"... still, it took me a while to get over the latter and I was always offended when doctors used to treat me like I had some sort of a head disease for not being fine with having the pap done. That was when I'd usually say, "It's socially acceptable for people to be afraid of clowns! Lay off!"
15th-Oct-2007 03:00 pm (UTC)
"It's socially acceptable for people to be afraid of clowns!

But clowns are terrifying!

I'm not so worried about it anymore, apart from the discomfort. Of course, I was introduced to the procedure under um, Special Circumstances, so a check up isn't a problem at all.
(Deleted comment)
15th-Oct-2007 03:15 pm (UTC)
Ain't that the truth.
15th-Oct-2007 03:32 pm (UTC)
Well that's what I was thinking. Can't vouch for lesbianism, but I know that LDRs are a hell of a good contraceptive.
15th-Oct-2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
The Pacific works pretty well too :/
15th-Oct-2007 04:49 pm (UTC) - >snigger<
The first time I ever went for one of those was with the family doctor in the States who'd known me since I was *this* big. I about cracked up at the "are you sexually active" bit - it was in the deepest depths of all that craziness that year.

"um, yeah, bloke who still thinks I'm six, actually I'm sexually active with a buncha people, and some of them are GIRLS!"

Or not.

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