OK, they're going up all over my flist.
I have no grant this year. I'm not sure I can afford cards, but I'm damned well going to try. Presents are a no go.
But if you insist
on spending money on me, and you can buy me sex manuals
. If there are any Australians who want to spend money on me, I'll take condoms
. Or, if you're American, then you can buy me toiletries
That's it. I'm not being generous this year, so you're going to have to do it for me.