I hate losing momentum.
A while ago, I focused for a little while on sorting through pictures for landmark analysis, which was important work and it needed to be done, but I got so caught up in it that I forgot have to do everything else, and still didn't get lots
or progress done, either.So coming into the museum, primarily for a meeting with my supervisors this afternoon (and I'm anxious over that, believe me)but also to do Thesis management (and writing, if I can find things to write), I find I've completely lost momentum.
I'm not sure if this is a form of hyperfocus on my part, because when I was worried I had ADD, people who also identify with it were saying "oh, but on the plus side: hyperfocus!" but it's not a plus for me. Not only can I be very easily drawn into obsession over details for sorting things, but I also begin inventing new more complicated ways of organising things that take more time. Sorting becomes a little obsessive for me - see how I spent most of the Christmas break hyperorganising my Gmail inbox - not because I use it, but because I wanted it supersorted. I have this horrible way of letting a mess grow, then spending far more time than I need to sorting it all out - it's the filing that's important, not the tidy result. It's cathartic, in its way, but it also wastes time.I think that's the point -- it's a habit I developed as a quick thinking, easily distracted kid as something to do when I was bored - and I got bored a lot, with my short attention span. Now it becomes something to make me feel productive when I have little to do. It's like lapsing into 'being' stages as identified by my therapist. Repetitive tasks --> the mental equivalent of using a treadmill.
Whatever is causing it, it's a habit I need to break. Even when I tell myself it's cathartic: when it's preferable to dealing with the Real World or when I forget where I am in the rest of my work: it's a bad thing. So I have to try and break things up, not get sucked into, and keep myself interested.
I can do this, I'm sure.
Anyway, something else that came up in conversation in Boston: jawalter
implied he had never heard of thepartyparty.com
, famous as they are for their video (on that link) of George Bush's rendition of Sunday, Bloody Sunday
, originally by U2. I'm also a fan of Tony Blair's Should I Stay or Should I Go
? But here's the most recent music video on the creator (RX2008
)'s YouTube channel: