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Innerbrat
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Finding my feet again. 
29th-Jan-2008 12:14 pm
bones
I hate losing momentum.

A while ago, I focused for a little while on sorting through pictures for landmark analysis, which was important work and it needed to be done, but I got so caught up in it that I forgot have to do everything else, and still didn't get lots or progress done, either.So coming into the museum, primarily for a meeting with my supervisors this afternoon (and I'm anxious over that, believe me)but also to do Thesis management (and writing, if I can find things to write), I find I've completely lost momentum.

I'm not sure if this is a form of hyperfocus on my part, because when I was worried I had ADD, people who also identify with it were saying "oh, but on the plus side: hyperfocus!" but it's not a plus for me. Not only can I be very easily drawn into obsession over details for sorting things, but I also begin inventing new more complicated ways of organising things that take more time. Sorting becomes a little obsessive for me - see how I spent most of the Christmas break hyperorganising my Gmail inbox - not because I use it, but because I wanted it supersorted. I have this horrible way of letting a mess grow, then spending far more time than I need to sorting it all out - it's the filing that's important, not the tidy result. It's cathartic, in its way, but it also wastes time.I think that's the point -- it's a habit I developed as a quick thinking, easily distracted kid as something to do when I was bored - and I got bored a lot, with my short attention span. Now it becomes something to make me feel productive when I have little to do. It's like lapsing into 'being' stages as identified by my therapist. Repetitive tasks --> the mental equivalent of using a treadmill.

Whatever is causing it, it's a habit I need to break. Even when I tell myself it's cathartic: when it's preferable to dealing with the Real World or when I forget where I am in the rest of my work: it's a bad thing. So I have to try and break things up, not get sucked into, and keep myself interested.

I can do this, I'm sure.




Anyway, something else that came up in conversation in Boston: jawalter implied he had never heard of thepartyparty.com, famous as they are for their video (on that link) of George Bush's rendition of Sunday, Bloody Sunday, originally by U2. I'm also a fan of Tony Blair's Should I Stay or Should I Go? But here's the most recent music video on the creator (RX2008)'s YouTube channel:

Opinions 
29th-Jan-2008 12:17 pm (UTC)
Course you can do it. You're Debipants. You can do anything.

'cept possibly pee standing up. I mean, without making a mess. That's hard.

*hugs you*
29th-Jan-2008 12:36 pm (UTC)
*pokes Jason*

Captain Foxx has a hat like that.
29th-Jan-2008 12:42 pm (UTC)
Captain Fox is a way better pirate than Will Turner.


>>


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29th-Jan-2008 01:06 pm (UTC)
Well, yes, yes he is.

He acts like a pirate, for a start.
29th-Jan-2008 12:22 pm (UTC)
"oh, but on the plus side: hyperfocus!" but it's not a plus for me.

It's a plus if you can use it properly. Otherwise, it's a pain. For me, it's quite honestly fifty-fifty - when I can concentrate on work, MAN can I concentrate...but more often than not it's other things that catch my attention.

So, I consider it the other side of the coin, and nothing more than that, really.
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