I am unbelievably restless and distractable today. I've got work that I'm doing, but I keep actively looking for other things. And - it doesn't feel like procrastination. It's not
I don't wanna work so I'll do something else (it never is, never has... OK, I get those days like everyone does, but that's not the problem). It's
I want to work, I have to work. I really want to work so WHY DO I KEEP GETTING UP TO PEE?
It's horrible. And distressing because it's really really not my fault here. At least I don't think it is. But then - how can it not be? Why can't I just do it?
And then I mentally work myself into a frenzy of self-loathing and anxiety and frustration, with my leg twitching because it wants to go for a walk and my bladder's empty from all the peeing, thank you.
It's just - this is what it's like to be me, some days.