Ever get the feeling someone just isn't listening to you?
So I came home from a productive day doing thesis work on the museum, and flopped down on the sofa to watch cartoons. Only to find I wasn't getting any cable channels. Fair enough, it happens. Also, no Virgin On Demand - and what's the point of having a service called Virgin On Demand if it doesn't work?
So I made a mental note of the code and phoned up the helpline. While in the queue, they played pre-recorded instructions for self-diagnosis, which included Shut up and Reboot, which - yep, I hadn't done. So I did. By this point I'd already been connected to a real person, so I stayed on to apologise for wasting his time.
Little did I know he would GET HIS REVENGE IN KIND.
Virgin: Good afternoon, what seems to be the trouble?
Me; Well, *sheepish laugh* I was having problems with my TV, but I just tried unplugging and plugging back in my set-top box and.... *waits* Yep, it worked. Sorry about that.
Virgin: OK, what problems are you having?
Me: Well, I wasn't having any picture on the channels or On Demand, but I restarted the box and it's OK now. I just called to see if it was a regional problem, but clearly it isn't.
Virgin: What error code are you getting?
Me: well it was 1095 on the On Demand, and something else I can't remember and didn't make a note of on the channels.
Virgin: I'm going to need an error code.
Me: Um. 1095?
Virgin: What's the account code?
Me: Are you serious? The problem's fixed?
Virgin: Please give me the account code, miss.
Me: Uh. OK, but I don't have a problem anymore and I'll have to go get it out of my paperwork.
Virgin: Please do that.
Me: *puts phone down, comes back with bill* OK, the code is *gives code*
Virgin: And can you confirm the address?
Me: *does so*
Virgin: And the accoutn holder?
Me: Well it should be (InnerBrat), but it's possibly still down as (Greek)
Virgin: OK, I don't have you down as the account holder. Can you try again?
Me: Is this really necessary? I don't have a problem any more.
Virgin: The account holder, please?
Me: *repeats Sterghios' name*
Virgin: And what's your name?
Me: That would be InnerBrat.
Virgin: And can you please tell me the code you're getting when you try On Demand?
Me: Are you serious?
Virgin: Can you bring up On Demand again and tell me what the error message is?
Me: OK, but it probably won't come up because I don't have a problem any more since I reset the box. It will take a while because it always will.
Virgin: OK. What's the error message?
Me: hang on! It's coming up. I just told you the error code was 1095.
Virgin: There is no error 1095. Please bring it up.
Me: I can't! Because it's working now!
Virgin: OK, Ms Brat, sometimes when this happens, you just need to unplug the box...
Me: Yes, I did that.
Virgin: ...wait 30 seconds.
Me: Yes, and it worked.
Virgin: and plug it back in, and sometimes it works.
Me: Yes, I know. I told you back at the beginning of the call it was working.
Virgin: so it's working now?
Virgin: Is there anything else I can help you with this evening?
Me: OH GOD NO PLEASE LET ME GET OFF THE PHONE.
Seriously, OMG what the shit was that?