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Innerbrat
Advancing the sum total of human knowledge and endeavour!
Let down by my brain again. 
25th-Jul-2008 04:12 pm
drama
I am having real serious issues concentrating recently. Real real serious can't keep it together to write this post or figure out anything I'm supposed to be doing concentration issues.

avariel_wingsKate called it Friday Afternoon syndrome, but I don't think it's that - it'simpossible (read: really really difficult and I haven't managed it) to focus for any length of time at all. I can zone out in fact I'm tending towards activities that encourage out-zoning, but I just. Can't. Do. I can't sit still long, I can't have long conversations without wandering off.

Oh and also? The inability to focus is making me anxious and self-hating. And I'm not sleeping well, and I'm over emotional: accidentally rude to people and a defriending email just made me cry. Which turned out to be a false alarm anyway.

And I want to blame the fact that I have no headphones so can't have music while working. I'm going to buy myself some new ones, I think.

In the meantime, a meme, because I want to.
Comment with a fandom and I'll tell you my:

One True Pairing Ship:
Canon Ship:
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship:
"You are one sick bastard" Ship:
"I dabble a little" Ship:
"It's like a car crash" Ship:
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship:
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship:
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship:
"When all is said and done" Ship:
As weaverandomWeaves says; Shatter, Milliways and Rabbithole all count as fandoms.
Opinions 
25th-Jul-2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
Birds of Prey.
25th-Jul-2008 03:13 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship: Dinah/Babs
Canon Ship: Babs/Dick
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Dinah/Ted Grant, tied with Charlie/Lori
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Babs/Charlie
"I dabble a little" Ship: Dinah/Bruce
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Dinah/Ra's Al Ghul
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Helena/Zinda
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Charlie/Steph
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Babs/Helena
"When all is said and done" Ship: Dinah/Ollie
25th-Jul-2008 03:09 pm (UTC)
Milliways.

And Red Dwarf.
25th-Jul-2008 03:24 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship: Will/Elizabeth
Canon Ship: Will/Elizabeth
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Anyone/anyone in turtle shape.
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Mel/Harth
"I dabble a little" Ship: Mel/Alanna
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Harth/Emily
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Nanny/Barbossa
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Dinah/Cass
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: No idea.
"When all is said and done" Ship: Mel/Mike


One True Pairing Ship: Lister/Kochanski
Canon Ship: Kryten/Camille
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Petersen/Lister
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Kryten/Talkie
"I dabble a little" Ship: Dave/Deb Lister
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Rimmer/MacGruder
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Rimmer/Nirvana Crane
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Deb Lister/Kristine Kochanski
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Rimmer/Lister
"When all is said and done" Ship: Cat/Himself.
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jul-2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatter!
25th-Jul-2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship: Steph/Sokka(AU)
Canon Ship: Dick/Babs
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Jess/Mary
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Harth/Hana
"I dabble a little" Ship: Kate/Will
"It's like a car crash" Ship: No idea.
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Leah/Thirteen
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Sparrow/Toph
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: No idea
"When all is said and done" Ship: Claire/Sokka
25th-Jul-2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
Someone else did BoP so I guess I'll do Shatter.
25th-Jul-2008 03:34 pm (UTC)
:(
25th-Jul-2008 03:24 pm (UTC)
When I get like that, it tends to be a side-effect of PMS. It was really scaring me at first, because I am scattered by nature and I know I have ADD/anxiety tendencies, but I didn't like not being able to control it at all.

I've gotten fairly used to just coping with it for a few days out of every month since I feel crappy and useless then anyway, so if the timing's right, see if that's a factor. I know I was able to get at least less anxious about my own scatteredness during those few days, anyway.
25th-Jul-2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
It could be PMs, yes. BUt it's been more than a few days - over a week,
25th-Jul-2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
Avatar!
25th-Jul-2008 03:39 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship:Jet/Zuko
Canon Ship: Sokka/Suki
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Sokka/Aang
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Ozai/Azula
"I dabble a little" Ship: Zuko/Katara
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Azula/Sanity
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Pakku/Kanna
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Toph/Suki
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Katara/Aang
"When all is said and done" Ship: Iroh/Tea
25th-Jul-2008 03:33 pm (UTC)
Supernatural! Or DC Comics (All)!
25th-Jul-2008 03:50 pm (UTC)
Iiii don't ship anyone in SPN *sadface*

BUT:

One True Pairing Ship: Babs/Dinah
Canon Ship: Ralph/Sue
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Connor/Mia
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Dick/Tim
"I dabble a little" Ship: Tim/Steph
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Kendra/Roy
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Bruce/Clark
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Mia/Steph
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Bruce/Dick
"When all is said and done" Ship: Ollie/Dinah
25th-Jul-2008 03:36 pm (UTC)
Spaced? :)
25th-Jul-2008 03:53 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship: Tim/Mike
Canon Ship: Tim/Sophie
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Twist/Martha
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Martha/Colin
"I dabble a little" Ship: Martha/Mike
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Brian/Twist
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Daisy/Mike
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Brian/Mike
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Tim/Daisy
"When all is said and done" Ship:
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jul-2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Cookies! Yes please!
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jul-2008 06:19 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I have watched less than 3 episodes of any Doctor.
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jul-2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
One True Pairing Ship: Tonker/Lofty
Canon Ship: Carrot/Angua
"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" Ship: Granny/Anyone
"You are one sick bastard" Ship: Detritus/Cuddy
"I dabble a little" Ship: Magrat/Verence
"It's like a car crash" Ship: Angua/Cheri
"Tickles my fancy but not sold just yet" Ship: Susan/Lobsang
"Makes no canon sense but why the Hell not" Ship: Angua/Susan
"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" Ship: Vimes/Vetinari
"When all is said and done" Ship: Vimes/Ankh-Morpork

*snugs* Hello!
(Deleted comment)
25th-Jul-2008 07:10 pm (UTC)
No.
26th-Jul-2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
I could be completely wrong here, but I'm wondering if the sleep deprivation is driving everything else? What you're describing has been happening to me a lot this past year (which is why I keep obsessively talking about moving, so I don't have to commute. Except that the being sleep dep'd makes it harder to get moving on that and so--gah).

What I've really noticed is that by the middle of the week (when I've had 2-3 sleep dep'd nights in a row) I can't handle even a few seconds of 'downtime.' If I'm in a meeting, say, and it starts going off-course, my brain just shuts down, and I have a hard time not visibly nodding off (which is kind of bad to do in a meeting with a small group of people). So to keep that from happening, I make a special effort to stay engaged with what's going on, but of course, that can exhausting, which makes it even more likely that I'll get tired and drift and thus--gah again.

And then there's the distract-ability. I've lost count of the number of times in the past year when I've come home, logged on, and by the time I've finished checking email, catching up on feeds, and gone through a few mun LJs, I've had enough of those 'downtime' moments that my brain is on permanent distraction mode. It isn't long after that before my brain moves to 'sleep is the only option'. So much for RP that night. It goes without saying, of course, that by the time I admit I'm done for the night, it's late enough to make the sleep dep for the week one step worse.

Not a good scene. It might have nothing at all to do with what you're talking about, but the stuff your describing sounds awfully familiar, especially if you haven't been sleeping well over successive nights.
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