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OKCupid personal messages 
10th-Sep-2008 11:03 am
OKCupid is a match/dating./networking site I signed up with 'for a laugh' years ago. My profile is more or less up to date, includes the fact that I'm in a relationship, and honestly I just collect quiz results on it when I'm bored.

And then sometimes I get weird personal messages like this. Usually I wouldn't replicate personal communication on the wide public internet like this, but its so impersonal I don't think it matters. And honestly, it's so damn weird I can't laugh for the WTFness of it:


Well this email may come as a bit of a surprise to you. I know that it will sound a bit insane, but at that risk I am going to proceed.

Basically I am a submissive guy. Submissive with woman only. I am not looking for an intimate relationship at all. I am looking for a friendship. But a friendship with a major difference that if considered by an open minded lady, can be of incredible benefit to her.

Simply put I want to eventually take responsability for your household chores. For your cleaning, your ironing, washing your dishes and any other household chores. I am aware that it would obviously take time until you would feel comfortable enough with me for this friendship to reach the stage where this could happen.

Until then and I suppose after we would have met for a coffee, assuming you are curious; I could run errands for you which hardly involve us being together. By this I mean that perhaps I could do things like go and buy you groceries after you email me a list and deliver them to you when convenient. Lets assume that you need something posted at the post office. We all hate those queus, so I could collect the letter and go and post it and return the receipt to you. Lets assume its raining and you don't feel like going out from work to get lunch. So you could call me and tell me what you want, and I'd collect and deliver.

If the time would approach that you feel more comfortable with me, then perhaps we could take it a stage further. I do need you to understand that this relationship would not replace the relationship you seek on this site. And again, it would not be an intimate relationship at all. In return for my doing all this, I really and truly do not want anything at all. No payment, no sexual anything at all. Nothing at all.

If you are at all curious and have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

- still got nothing.
10th-Sep-2008 10:00 am (UTC)
Dude, if only I was a woman.
10th-Sep-2008 10:17 am (UTC)
10th-Sep-2008 10:19 am (UTC)
10th-Sep-2008 10:25 am (UTC)
Why doesn't he become a butler?
10th-Sep-2008 10:35 am (UTC)
Because he might get paid for that!
10th-Sep-2008 10:42 am (UTC)
Surely he could volunteer with a home-aid charity to make life considerably easier for some infirm soul somewhere? There's always a shortage of people to assume such duties. Win-win.
10th-Sep-2008 11:12 am (UTC)
See, that'd be the kinda email I *dream* of getting. I need to get on OKCupid.
10th-Sep-2008 11:58 am (UTC)
As a potential future housemate, who just happens to be shockingly lazy, I DEMAND that you reply to this clearly delightful chap immediately.
10th-Sep-2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
It sounds like he's looking to be in a master-slave type BDSM relationship, but is afraid to come right out and say it... which probably just hurts his cause.
10th-Sep-2008 02:25 pm (UTC)
It's got to be something like that.

It may start off with cleaning, washing and ironing, but it's going to end in whips, chains and nipple-clamps!
10th-Sep-2008 12:17 pm (UTC)

Serial killer!

10th-Sep-2008 12:20 pm (UTC)

Also, possibly out to steal your identity. Or kindap you in the back of a transit van.

Or, perhaps he's looking to make a woman suit.

Hi, I'm paranoid and morbid.
10th-Sep-2008 12:22 pm (UTC)
I'm a bad bad person in that my first thought with regards to the woman suit was - are you calling me fat?

*hangs head in shame*
10th-Sep-2008 12:24 pm (UTC)
. . .

I did not think of that implication.

(Deleted comment)
10th-Sep-2008 01:27 pm (UTC)
Will there be a safety words involved? Like, if you were to ask him to pick up some tampons from the store he could say, "RED!!!"
10th-Sep-2008 02:17 pm (UTC)
Blue, according to most of the adverts...
10th-Sep-2008 02:11 pm (UTC)
I know a true dom gal, so that probably skews my view:

I think it's adorable. He's just trying to find his first domina. Not all sub/dom world is about sex. My friend usually WON'T sleep with her slaves. A true sub is just that: someone who serves you.
11th-Sep-2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Right. I think it's rather sweet and I very much doubt that he's after anything sexual.
10th-Sep-2008 02:12 pm (UTC)

If you don't want him, I'll take him. I've got a sink full of dishes I'm avoiding.
10th-Sep-2008 02:24 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of a friend of mine who got offered money to walk on a guy's chest in high heels via LJ.

Ah, the internet...
10th-Sep-2008 05:39 pm (UTC) - Today's word is - exploitation!
I could use some labour. I got chores I don't have time to do; how does he feel about ironing?
10th-Sep-2008 10:53 pm (UTC) - Re: Today's word is - exploitation!
Sounds fantastic! Can he come and do our hoovering and washing up and go supermarket shopping and list my unwanted stuff on ebay and iron shirts and go find me some new plain black trainers in a half size? ... I could really do with someone like this ... can provide instructions ... laminated on request! Puh-leease??? Oh, and he can weed the allotment also. And do all those little household chores that mean I don't have time to do fun stuff ... and sweep the patio and repot my pot plants and, and, oh, the list is endless!

Seriously. Wow.
14th-Sep-2008 09:17 am (UTC)
I had a friend who got a few emails like that from guys on a dating site. She and another friend tried to arrange a date, just out of curiosity, but it seemed the guys got scared.
16th-Sep-2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
What e_mily said. It's not at all unheard of, either.

16th-Sep-2008 10:35 pm (UTC)

Hello you. How's it going?
17th-Sep-2008 01:23 am (UTC)

Everything's going all right, just playing wow, looking for a job. stuff like that. How about yourself (not that I can't read that from your journal, but eh, effort. lol)?
17th-Sep-2008 10:56 am (UTC)
I'm OK. Struggling with anxiety and stress and stuff, but finding my way, it's good.

17th-Sep-2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
Well, either way, it's good to know you're doing well. :)
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