As you've probably noticed, I'm coming out of a very bad slump of depression - the worst in years. I'm no longer looking for sympathy or pity about it, which is why I'm talking about it in measured, bloggable terms. If free verse turns up here again in the next few - ever, feel free to spam me with LOLcats until I get over it.
Very much linked to the depression, was what I'd call a 'flare-up' of my ADD. I couldn't get work done (not just science, but knitting, blogging, roleplaying, anything I usually do); I couldn't sit still, I didn't meditate, I went to the toilet too often, I had sleep issues, I failed at timekeeping and I lost things, like my NHM pass, but that's less worrying as I have a daily pass anyway these days.
It's easy at these times to feel extra sorry for myself and my 'disorder', and wallow in self pity and blame everything that's wrong in my life with the fact that I'm sick. Which, in the clarity of a spring morning is of course the completely wrong way to look at things. The final 'D' is misleading I don't have Attention Deficit Disorder, I'm - oh, I can't think of a alternative that isn't naff, but you get the picture. It's not a a disorder, it's just who I am, in flaws and virtues.
In doing research for my chosen subject for Ada Lovelace day, I encountered an ADD-centric site called Adult ADD Strengths, which reminded me that this is just my brain, not an illness. A couple of click throughs led me to 151 Positive Characteristics of ADD, which reminded me further that my brain is not a bad brain to have.
I delicioused it, of course. And as such it'll turn up in my twitter post tonight, but I wanted to write a post singing its praises and copying some of the many good things I can recognise about myself, because I'm still at a stage where I need the affirmations. So here it is, a few, very select reasons why I am awesome:
Adventurous, courageous, lives outside of boundaries
Compassion for others and for themselves
Good at problem solving
Great with kids (central figure around kids)