One of the major reasons that my blog has been so quiet recently, isn't just that I don't have the concentration to blog, though concentration's been at a premium for me, and it isn't just that I've fallen out of the habit, though I have. It's also that I'm aware that my blogging pre-hiatus was of a certain quality, and as the hiatus stretched, I started holding myself to a higher and higher standard, and told myself not to blog unless I had something EXCELLENT to say about something REALLY IMPORTANT.
Well, bollocks to that. I'm going to try and update more regularly
Today over IM, one of my very best friends in all the world said this:
Not just 'cause you appear effortlessly serene and perfect on LJ when you capital-B-Blog, but because I know how hard you work behind the scenes to be it. That's why you're one of my heroes.
Which touched me beyond measure, so I'm saving it. Today I also took a Long Personality Test on OKCupid
(note I don't use the word 'scientific', because I don't much want to legitimise what I think is only a piece of introspective fun), and I got ENFP - The Champion
. This gave me a kind of warm feeling because most of what was described in that test (and the mirror on Kiersey.com) was a lot like the person I'd like
to be - I was 100% extrovert, which I've learned in myself is an indicator of low depression levels, and near 50% on feeling versus thinking - these days I value them both equally so I like
to maintain a balance. So that's reminded me, as well, that I'm doing quite well towards being the person I want to be.
Now, I just have to regain the meditation habit, as 10 minute sitting every morning has in the past worked well in helping me with my biggest problem - the issue I frequently have in getting my mind and body to be in the same place at the same time, something I'm still convinced is vital for functioning like a normal human, of the kind that works, eats, and operates in a normal social way.
And master Right Speech. I still have some work to do on that.
... Facebook sucks. It's like 2001 all over again. Don't get me wrong, 2001 was great... IN 2001. Do you remember 2001 - when almost everyone updated several times a day and entries were generally shorter? Some people updated like they were Twittering when there wasn't even any such thing as Twitter. But do you know why people on lj stopped don that for the most part? Because it's BORING. Because it lacks meaningful interaction. Because it was too much chatter. It was great for a while - when we couldn't stand to be away from each other for longer than a couple hours. But our relationship matured beyond that constant need for reassurance and feedback and then those constant, short updates became an annoyance.