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Advancing the sum total of human knowledge and endeavour!
7th-Apr-2010 08:51 pm
full of shit
As some of you may know but no one would really care; I have an OKCupid profile. Have for a while, really. I don't spend any time on that site, but I don't delete that profile because sometimes awesome people message me and we have awesome conversations about comics and Being Human and stuff. when I get a message, I go, check my profile isn't too out of date, and then leave the site. It says clearly I'm not looking for anything beyond awesome geeky conversations with random people, on account of being in a relationship and y'know, not looking.

SO TODAY I got back from an awesome day at the National Railway Museum in York to find this in my inbox:

OK. Let me just check I have this right. You have terrible taste in music, seem to make a virtue out of sharing unsightly habits, and are just taking the piss with this "I'm in a monogomous realtionship" schtick.
What are you doing here you muppet?! You *are* someones idea of a joke and not a real person I hope.


I'm opening this up to the floor, here. The comment that makes me laugh out loud the hardest will (probably) be sent in return.
7th-Apr-2010 07:58 pm (UTC)
I am seeing other words in there but what I am actually getting from that comment is "Help me I was tragically born without a sense of humor :("
(Deleted comment)
7th-Apr-2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
Well, you really would be taking the piss with any 'monogamous relationship' schtick really.
7th-Apr-2010 08:10 pm (UTC)
They couldn't possibly mean you. They probably sent the same comment to six dozen people with a similar profile just to get a rise out of some of them.

That's not even a troll. It's a sock-troll onna stick.-
7th-Apr-2010 08:11 pm (UTC)
I think whatever you say should include at last one moment where you tear them to pieces in the style of a Michael-Crichton-esque-velociraptor for their inability to spell "monogamous"...
7th-Apr-2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
No answer, but I can tell you one of the comments I got on my profile recently was:
It's a dating site! You're meant to be advertising yourself! Instead your profile makes me feel like I should be calling NHS Direct on yo'ass. I know you said people shouldn't message if they're going to ask if you're OK, but you sound nigh-on suicidal.
Someone doesn't understand self-deprecating humour.
7th-Apr-2010 08:30 pm (UTC)
I'm almost tempted to give him the first two sentences.

(For a second I thought I knew him and was blanking on faces, but the picture was just him being touristy at a museum)
7th-Apr-2010 08:35 pm (UTC)
I'd be tempted to ask him about the precise dimensions of the stick in his ass and quite why he thinks everyone is here for his specific benefit.

[The person I got messaged by was a tiny babydyke. Working on someone else's behalf. People are weird.]
7th-Apr-2010 08:37 pm (UTC)

actually I think I might have an idea how to respond.


Thank you very much for taking the time to critique my profile. How would you suggest I should change it in order to improve your experience on the internet?

Edited at 2010-04-07 20:44 (UTC)
7th-Apr-2010 08:45 pm (UTC)
7th-Apr-2010 08:52 pm (UTC)
7th-Apr-2010 09:12 pm (UTC)
7th-Apr-2010 09:27 pm (UTC)
Awesome :D
7th-Apr-2010 11:01 pm (UTC)
Oh that is lovely. Absolutely lovely.
7th-Apr-2010 08:31 pm (UTC)
Unfortunately I can't type the image of me holding my pinky in the air to signify what I think of him.
8th-Apr-2010 12:41 am (UTC)
Pinky is not the finger I had in mind, myself.
7th-Apr-2010 09:02 pm (UTC)
Having had an okcupid profile since 2004 and seen my fair share of fake profiles, yours certainly doesn't come across that way at all. I assume the commenter was actually interested and just pissed that you're not available. What s/he doesn't realize is you can adjust your searches to exclude people in relationships. BAH.

I definitely like the "Thank you very much for taking the time to critique my profile. How would you suggest I should change it in order to improve your experience on the internet?" reply. XD GOOD LUCK. Let us know if you get a reply to that!
7th-Apr-2010 10:28 pm (UTC)
Just reply with this image:

8th-Apr-2010 01:28 am (UTC)
8th-Apr-2010 10:50 am (UTC)
I like that as a reply.
8th-Apr-2010 12:29 am (UTC)
K, the guys an ass, obviously.

He's got a point about the music though.
8th-Apr-2010 04:45 am (UTC)
"I know you are, but what am I?" Classic, and ridiculously childish enough to rub in just how stupid that guy's comment really is.
8th-Apr-2010 08:42 am (UTC)
What a charmer.
8th-Apr-2010 01:46 pm (UTC)
Not sure if it's a him or her so modify accordingly:
You, sir, smell of cauliflower.

What? It made as much sense as his original!
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