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Love is… 
24th-Jan-2011 11:08 am
secret 6, femmeslash

Thirty Six Days of Me: Your Definition of Love, in Great Detail

For Friere, dialogue cannot exist in the absense of profound love for people – without genuine regard for, interest in and commitment to the social, cultural and economic improvement of the human condition, especially the disadvantaged or marginalized. Love is the basis for the other important elements of dialogue building: creating and sharing of knowledge, public education and empowerment.

- Stan Carborne, 2003, The Dialogic Museum, Muse 31(1) 36-39, paraphrasing Paolo Friere, 1999; Pedagogy of the Oppressed

Love is appreciation of a being and the wish that they be well.

Love is simple, but frequently complicated by all the other emotions that make up the complexity of human experience. The nearest synonym to love is compassion.

Love is what’s left when you’ve cleared the clouds of prejudice, opinions, attachment, aversion and reactions from your perception of someone else.  Love is not lust, possession, familial devotion, hate, jealousy, pity, idolatry or any of the other emotions it is frequently confused with, but love is also not mutually exclusive to any of those things; to claim it is would be to deny the ambivalence that characterises humanity. Love does not define a relationship; love is part of that relationship, along with every other factor involved.

Love is not different between spouses, lovers, families, friends, partners – the rest of the emotions surrounding that love are what makes it feel different. Love does not specify anything about the object of that love. Self-love is as important as love for anyone else.

If truth is beauty, than knowledge is love – to know something is to see it as it is, and to see something without delusion is to love it. But we all live in clouds of delusion about our family and our friends and our lovers, so how can we love them?

I can love a stranger, if I take the moment to stop, think of them, remember they are a living, feeling being, and wish that they have a good day. It is easier to love a friend, because I know her and see her virtues, and understand her faults, and know what makes her a beautiful person. Love requires faith – the faith that even if we could fully awaken to see everyone exactly how they are, that knowledge would bring us love. So we skip that step – If I knew you, I’m sure I’d love you. I don’t know you perfectly (I don’t know myself perfectly), so I’m taking it on faith that if I did, I’d love you. In the meantime, I shall make the effort to get to know you, so I can access that love more easily.

Love is simple; the human experience is complicated.

Love is not exclusive, love doesn’t have to be requited, love knows no gender or genetic relationship. Love needs nothing.

I love you.

(Even if I forget to act like it sometimes.)

This post can also be found at Thagomizer.net. Feel free to join in the conversation wherever you feel most comfortable.

Opinions 
24th-Jan-2011 04:49 pm (UTC)
That first quoted sentence seems incomplete, despite its length. I've gone over it a few times and I think I've got it, but am not sure. So this was a nice counterpoint to a little chatter I heard this morning about yesterday's Jets game (professional ice hockey) - "Ohhh, I'm so glad they lost. I hate them so much. The New York motherfucking Jets." It's weird, hating teams from other towns - I'm from NY, shouldn't it be my job to hate them for blowing their chance at the championship?

Anyway. Hey, do people still care about Buffy and Angel Dark Horse comics from the late nineties? Because I tried to get rid of some Poison Elves books on eBay after Drew Hayes died and seriously no one cared.
24th-Jan-2011 05:00 pm (UTC)
Um. I omitted the word 'exist' (now edited in) Is that it?

Yeah, I see how easy it is to jump on the 'I hate this and want to see it suffer' bandwagon, but I think it's better for me to stay off it. I;m not a sports fan, so I guess that's like being glad a show I don't like was cancelled? Or more that I'm glad a character I didn't like was killed/had their comeuppance? Except with real people - "I hate this person and I'm glad they failed". I'd rather be happy for the winners.

And - no, I do not believe anyone cares about those comics. I've read nearly all of them, and I'm not sure they're regarded well by Buffy fans.
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