For a few months, I was standing on the precipice of what I knew would be a slippery slippery slope into the expensive and time consuming world of LEGO fandom. Then Jurassic World LEGO came out, I got some vouchers for ToysRUs and I sent myself hurtling headlong down into the plastic depths, screaming “techniiiiiiic!” all the way down.
That’s a story for another day.
One of my recent expensive-and-complicated presents to myself has been the Creator model “Detective’s Office” -partly because it looks pretty but partly because I wanted to remodel it at some point, maybe, to be a Detective’s office over a flower shop (which has something to do with my interests as some people might know.)
That’s also not the point of this post.
The point of this post, with regards to the model Detective’s Office, is to ask; What the heck is going on?
What follows is what in the old days we’d call “not dial-up safe” but these days I guess I should warn against people browsing using mobile data plans.
Okay so at first glance, the piece looks pretty straight forward, right? Pool hall and barber shop on the ground floor, a private detective’s office and an apartment on the floors above. So far, so pretty. Let’s take a look. Please I built and photographed this kit EXACTLY following the instructions in the box. This is, as far as you can get with LEGO, completely canon.
Perfectly ordinary (if small) barber’s shop, complete with police officer getting her hair trimmed.
Perfectly ordinary pool hall populated by two completely trustworthy salt-of-the-earth types (I assume.) One gentleman playing pool and another playing darts. That is a lovely trophy in the alcove on the wall. Pool or darts? I don’t know.
Above the pool hall, Ace Brickman, private detective, is consulting with – a client? Note the map on his desk and today’s newspaper.
The headline on the newspaper reads: THE GREATEST LEGO HERO EVER! I don’t know who is is referring to. Maybe it’s not referring to anyone in this set, but where’s the fun in that?
The details of the wall behind Brickman’s desk. The wanted poster is interesting – who keeps a wanted poster on their wall? Is it Brickman’s nemesis? Is there ANOTHER connection between this person and Ace? I don’t know! Right now, look at the picture on the right.
I don’t know about you, but that looks like a love letter, to me. Who is sending Brickman personally sealed letters? And why is he hiding them behind pictures when he has a perfectly good safe in his office?
Talking of the safe:
I guess I understand why someone might keep 100 notes in one’s safe. The candy whirl in a briefcase, though? That’s got me stumped.
The fire escape next to Brickman’s office provides a cute little moving part for the model. (And a quick escape from the upstairs apartment? Maaaaaaybe?)
You ever live in one of those apartments where the toilet room was so small that you could either sit on the toilet OR you could shut the door, but not both, never both? That’s what this place is. I don’t know who lives here – whether it’s Ace Brickman himself or a privately rented apartment, but there’s no bedroom or shower, so maybe it’s just the toilet and kitchen attached to his offices. Anyway, there’s also a cat, and someone’s been baking cookies?
I don’t know what that weird box next to the stairs is. A laundry hamper? WHO KNOWS?
So that’s a tour of the inside, floor by floor. Lovely, right? A little interesting? Worthy of a story? Maybe
Let’s look at the back view:
What’s this in the bin?
WHY IS THERE A HAT IN THE BIN? Could it be because…
BUT HOW WILL YOU RECOGNISE THIS CRIMINAL WITHOUT THEIR HAT?
Meanwhile, this suspicious looking grate next to the bin, on the back of the barber’s shop? Well…
UNDER THE ALLEYWAY!
SECRET SECRET SECRET SECRET
Yup. That sure is a bootlegger’s tunnel from the alley at the back of the Detective’s Office, under the alley between businesses, to the pool hall.
And someone sure has been using it to smuggle… a cookie SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE FRESH BAKED COOKIES UPSTAIRS and a candy whirl SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE CANDY WHIRL IN BRICKMAN’S BRIEFCASE.
I repeat my original question:
WHAT IS GOING ON? Have I revealed the threads from which a grand mystery of candy whirls and cookie smuggling is going to unravel? Who is the mysterious person-in-hat? Why is the police officer getting her hair cut?
Will we ever know?
This post can also be found at Thagomizer.net. Feel free to join in the conversation wherever you feel most comfortable.